The beginning of every school year was so new and exciting. The smell of the books and the pencils surged through my body and got the learnin' blood pumping throughout my veins. After a few months of school, the excitement went away and I just did my daily routine without the energy that I originally possessed. It became monotonous and a bit tedious at times. The routine was boring and I couldn't wait for it to be over and the summer break to start. I needed a change.
Well, parenting and housekeeping was the same way for me....except it was also just the opposite.
At first, it was new and exciting.
Of course, I became pregnant two and a half weeks into our marriage, and as it typically goes, at six weeks gestation I became one big ball of throw up. That means Jason and I had eight and a half weeks of newly-wedded bliss, and then I consistently threw up every hour or so (on a good day) for seven and a half months. (Elaina was due the first week of November but I delivered her on September 25th.) And then three months later I was expecting Claire and we did that all over again.
But we'll skip ahead to where Claire had been born and I could function as a human being again.
Like I said, at first it was new and exciting, but then it was just plain hard. It seemed like all the other moms and wives my age had it down pat. Their houses looked clean. Their laundry didn't appear to be piled seven feet high. I imagined that they even went to bed with the supper dishes washed and put away. When they went out in public, they didn't look like they hadn't slept in two years and they had obviously taken the time to not only put on clothes, but clothes that were stylish, clean and smelled normal. They had on makeup. I remember reaching a point where I realized my wearing makeup was just wasting money. It wasn't making any difference in my appearance.
I loved taking care of my house and my family but everything seemed so hard to accomplish. Each task had to be thought out and was somewhat of an ordeal to accomplish. But after three long years,
very long years,
all the cleaning of toilets, the washing of faces, the folding of laundry became monotonous. They were just part of a routine. I didn't even really think about it. It didn't feel like something I was doing, it was just the normal. And for me, that's when being a wife and mama became wonderful. I felt like a person again. I had been living this life long enough that to not do it felt strange. And oddly enough, that third year was when I had Eily. And Claire was one. And Elaina was two. By all accounts, it should be the year I look back and just remember a blur. But when I think back, I remember feeling calm, I remember finally being able to take deep breaths again, I remember going to bed and leaving a clean kitchen behind me.
Of course, now the girls are older and are very helpful so pulling off a clean house is not near as challenging as it used to be. But it's nice that this daily living that used to be so exhausting and overwhelming is my normal routine. And I don't want a break from it. I don't want "summer" to start. I want to keep My Four here with me. Always. Except I wouldn't really wish that on them. I really want them to have a chance to feel overwhelmed and then to find their groove. I want them to be a new wife, and then a new mama. And then a mama again.
But I want them to get there slowly.
------------------------
This may not have flowed like I wanted it to. I'm not a writer. I'm just a mom trying to type out my thoughts so that years from now I can recall how it felt to be in my thirties with a household of little girlies and a rising artist husband on the cusp of his career. Just pretend like you get it. Thanks.
-----------------------
And you new wives and mamas, you just hang in there. It may take a while but you'll get there. Have faith and keep trucking ahead.
