Swish

You know what's a crazy job? Being a mom. Of course it's great; I'm not trying to complain. I'm just saying...sometimes it's like being in a twirly ride at the fair. Three to four people asking you a question at the same time or asking for help, or just talking to you about something they find interesting. It's all good and lovely but I can get a little dizzy. So I have found a win-win solution.

I drink a lot of water.

The more I drink, the more often I have to make trips to the bathroom. The more bathroom trips, the more moments of quiet I can fit into my day. They are small moments, but they are precious. 

The Darkest Hour

There's that hour and a half in the evening, that time after supper but before bed preparations, that time slot that seems to drive you crazy but is also exciting because it means sleep is near. That time is hard when you are parents of small children. For me, it's the time that I dream of a cleaning my kitchen, and then having a quiet moment where all my little angles are quietly sitting and reading and the house is spotless and I feel great because I spent the entire day being productive and now I am entitled to rest. But that is not usually the scenario of that time slot. No, not at all. Some days I've been productive, but some days I've just managed to keep my head above the water. Most of the time, I'm so exhausted from the after school rush, the homework, and the supper prep that I just stack the dirty dishes in the sink and remind myself that they can always be cleaned in the morning. Then I just try not to lose my cool as the girls have obviously been injected with the adrenaline rush that all children seem to get right after they've finished supper. Who is supplying this stuff and why didn't they give some to me?
Honestly though, I remember finishing supper and then running off to play something with the other kids. It was a really fun hour of the day and as a child, it never occurred to me that I might be driving my parents crazy; that they might be wishing I would just sit and stare and just be.  But they never said anything, not that I can remember, and we played with so much enthusiasm and energy until it was time to get ready for bed. And these nights, when the girls get up from the table and start their games of hide-and-seek or coloring contests or whatever it may be, I just take a deep breath, remember how my parents treated me, and keep my mouth shut. And sometimes, I even muster up enough energy to join in their games. (Tonight is not one of those nights, but it does happen every now and then.)

After I wrote this post, I came in the living room and found the three older girls lined up on the couch reading books. And I smiled and thought, "Finally!" And now, five minutes later, we have one on the ground crying, one on the couch crying, one standing on a chair, singing in her loudest voice while she waves a swimming noodle in the air, and one trying to sword fight her sister with the remaining noodle. Well, it was nice while it lasted. :) 

Mothers

say yes to the mess because that's how we bless.

Two Thoughts

Today is shaping up to be a right fine day. Jayger called in sick, school was fun and we finished before lunch. The weather is so refreshing so I have all the windows open and the girls have played outside the majority of the morning.

I read these two thoughts this morning. One came from this post on Design Mom, the other in an email from my cousin, Caitlin.

the days are long and the years are short

cultivate the ground you are given

I want to remember these thoughts. I want to dwell on them. I want them to make a difference in my day.

 

You all should go visit my cousin-in-law/friend/birthday buddy's blog. She's taking a personal challenge in wisdom and posting her thoughts, findings and results of these challenges. Her posts have been very thought provoking and will benefit you if you'll take a few minutes to read them.

www.amay-blog.blogspot.com.

Be sure to leave her a comment of encouragement. I know she would appreciate it.

 

 

It skips around. A lot.

Somedays I'm just not the mother that I want to be.

Everyday I'm not the mother that I want to be but somedays seem to be worse than others. I finally started yelling tonight. It was the only way that Claire would stop talking and listen to me. I had to get so loud that she couldn't concentrate on what she wanted to say and therefore had to stop talking and was therefore forced to hear what I was saying.

But I hate yelling. Hate it. What a terrible example of how to handle a situation. I'm feeling a big humdrum tonight. Jason is gone until tomorrow and I did ok until this, the last day. And now I have put my children to bed on a terrible note. It was going so well at first. I read a Bible story and a chapter from Pooh and then I was singing to them which I don't do that often and then the phone rang.  I've been letting the girls think that Jason is just getting home after they fall asleep and that he is gone to work before they get up. I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the truth. It saved quite a bit of drama. If Elaina knows that he is on a trip, EVERY NIGHT we have buckets of tears and drama, drama, drama. Jason talked to each of the girls tonight and he said to Elaina that he would see her tomorrow and oh my goodness. The tears began. And then Claire and Eily started screaming because they didn't want to hear Elaina crying and then Claire needed this and that and it just all fell apart.

And now the kitchen is a mess and there is food out and dirty dishes out BUT I got all the laundry finished today. That makes me feel a little better about myself. But only in the housewife sense, not the mother sense. Am I making sense?

Tomorrow is another day (Said in Scarlett Fashion) and I will do better. And the girls will do better because we are going to sit down and talk about what happened tonight. And we are going to keep working on habit training and finally, the best of all, Jason will be home and we will all be together again.

Oh yeah, and we are going to see the Aristocats play tomorrow night. I'm pretty excited about that. This will be the first play that I have ever taken the girls to see. I did take Elaina to see a ballet last summer but I don't think that's in the same category.  Today she was wearing her pink tutu and her off-white brown and pink striped pantyhose and acting out that "very long ballerina thing we went to last time." I'm curious to see what they do in their playtime after seeing a play.

Claire studied a beetle yesterday and today I found her just sitting on the bench outside the front of the house. When I asked her what she was doing she replied, "I'm just watching the trees." I liked that answer. I'm excited to see her develop in her education. I've been reading all about outdoor time and I feel like Claire is a prime example of how children can observe if you just let them.

This is such a random post. I'm just typing as I think so there is no flow whatsoever to the sentences. Welcome to the way my brain works. It's sad. I know.