Home Education Part 5

This chapter was a little hard to write about because it is so long and there is so much good information, but information that was hard for me to put into my own words. I actually meant to post this a month ago but I was quite the procrastinator.

Home Education Part 5

-Lessons as Instruments of Education

"- All the same, whatever be the advantages of kindergarten or other schools for little children, the home schoolroom ought to be the best growing-ground for them." Charlotte talks about the parent, whether teaching herself or having her children taught by another, must have definite views about what she wants her children to learn. "She must ask herself seriously, Why must the children learn at all? What should the learn? And, How should they learn it?"
   This is an area that I really need to work on, personally. We have made wonderful strides in our learning this year compared to last year, but I still feel I need to define the answers to those questions. I feel it will not only better me as a teacher but also help rid our school days of wasted time and effort.  Charlotte then says (and basically reading my mind), "If she takes the trouble to find a definite and thoughtful answer of these quires, she will be in a position to direct her children's studies; and will, at the same time, be surprised ti find that three-fourths of the time and labour ordinarily spent by the child at his lessons is lost time and wasted energy."
   Charlotte also talks about the growth and stimulation of the mind. She says, "People are apt to overlook the fact that mind must have its ailment- we learn that we may know, not that we may grow." To be honest, I'm still try to digest and understand this. I may write more on it at a later date if I feel I have a better grasp on the subject.

Don't forget to read Jamie's posts on Part 5. (It's much better than mine.) Here's her second post on Part 5.

Bullet List

Some points of interest. (Or not, but let's just pretend, ok?)

• Remember when I had the best mail day ever?

Well, Volume 2 arrived in the mail yesterday. This is the funnest thing ever. It's like I have a secret pen pal. Except instead of stickers, I get books! Woo Hoo!!

• I cannot believe December starts tomorrow. Crazy, crazy.

• Last night, my Dad and a bunch of other people went to the UALR game. Every year around this time, Pappy (Dad) rounds up Pappy's Army and treats anyone that shows up with a ticket to the game. It's a bit of a different crowd each year but always a lot of fun. I stayed home with Eily, Claire and Nora so that Jason and Elaina could have some fun one-on-one time. Rumor has it that at one point Aunt Kat, Elaina and a foam finger made it onto the big screen while dancing. I would have loved to have seen that.

That's all. Have a great Friday!

Home Education Part 4

Today has been interesting. It's been a test of seeing just how far I could push myself. I wanted to quit so many times. I was tired, exhausted, drained, worn out, depressed and just generally ho-humish. But every time I started to think about sitting down, I would press on with my mental list of things to do. It took all day but I did manage to get the house picked up and the laundry finished. I didn't deep clean the bathrooms (and have no plan to do so today, at this point) but that's ok. I substituted that for mowing the front and back yards and taking a shower. Tomorrow, perhaps, I'll clean the bathrooms and it will be much easier to get that accomplished with a house that's starting out picked up and a day that will only require one load of laundry. There are some really neat things that I want to show you but my back can only hold out for one post tonight. And Part 4 takes first place.

Home Education Part 4

" The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children."

It seems too daunting to think of all the habits that my four children need to form. One child, perhaps, seems doable, but four?!! Miss Mason reassures the reader not to feel overwhelmed. "Here again, is an illustration of that fable of the anxious pendulum, overwhelmed with the thought of the number of ticks it must tick. But the ticks are to be delivered tick by tick, and there will always be a second of time to tick it in." So, everyday I will press forward, making mistakes no doubt, but pressing forward non-the-less, ticking my ticks.

Miss Mason starts the chapter with the habit of attention. For me, focusing on one habit at a time is very hard. There are so many things that need attention and I want to get to them all, right now! (Maybe I should work on the habit of patience first, huh?)  But- one tick at a time.

Habit of Attention:

Even infants can (and ought!) to be taught the habit of attention. As they are playing, they tend to flit from one toy to another. The parent should pick up the item they just threw aside and draw their attention back and talk about the item, keeping their attention for a full minute or two. Miss Mason gives an example of this using a discarded daisy. The mother picks it up and shows it again to her daughter while talking about its color and shape and then tells a delightful little story about why the flower has the name, "daisy". It just takes a minute or two, but at the end of the discussion, the child holdsthe flower closer, perhaps giving it a little kiss (Eily would do something like that) and then goes about with her playing.
Next comes the transition of habit of attention from things to words. This starts in the schoolroom. Miss Mason admonishes us not to let the child dawdle or moon over a lesson. Immediately put it away and do a lesson that is completely unlike the one before. If course, you eventually have to go back and finish the lesson, but do it with a " bright and fresh mind."
What is attention exactly? "Attention is hardly even an operation of the mind, but is simply the act by which the whole mental force is applied to the subject at hand."
The parent may help form this habit by means of a sufficient motive so that as they are older, the child is "brought to bring his own will to bear; to make himself attend in spite of the most inviting suggestions from without."

"It is impossible to overstate the importance of this habit of attention. It is, to quote words of weight, within the reach of every one and should be made the primary object of all mental discipline; for whatever the natural gifts of the child, it is only in so far as the habit of attention is cultivated in him that he is able to make use of them."

-concerning overpressure-

"...it is not the things we do, but the things we fail to do, which fatigue us..."

Wow. That really hit home. It reminded me of a story I heard once. A man was going through the handshake line at a church and said to the preacher, " That was a good sermon, preacher. You really stepped on my toes." The preacher replied, "Then move them."  My days flow with such ease and calmness if I give proper attention to the first things on my "to do" list and get those items done correctly on the first attempt. If I don't, I always feel pressured and rushed in my other tasks and complete them hurriedly and sloppily so that I can get back to the uncompleted tasks. 
The above quote can easily be applied to the student, If they have ten minutes to write six perfect "c's"and they dawdle and don't get it done in time, they will feel rushed in other tasks to get back to finishing that task.

Miss Mason goes on to talk about the habits of application, thinking, imagining, remembering and perfect execution. She also talks about the habits of obedience and truthfulness.

"First, and infinitely the most important, is the habit of obedience. Indeed, obedience is the whole duty of the child, and for this reason- every other duty of the child is fulfilled as a matter of obedience to his parents."

She says to train the child to obedience not with the motive being - to do this because I said so-and-so or because this will happen, but because the Bible says, "Obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." This is no small feat. Nine times out of ten, I say" Obey me or..." and then name a punishment. I am training them to obey, yes, but I am training them to obey with the wrong motive.
"...the poor children are simply bullied into submission to the will, that is the willfulness, of another; not at all 'for it is right'; only because it is convenient."  Ouch!

"To secure this habit of obedience, the mother must exercise great self-restraint; she must never give a command which she does not intend to see carried out to the full. And she must not lay upon her children burdens, grievous to be borne, of command heaped upon command."

There are so many more wonderful quotes I could add and thoughts I could try to express but I will just encourage you to read the book for yourself. It will not be time wasted.

Dont forget to visit Jamie's blog and read her post about Part 4.

Home Education Part 3

My sister, Sarah, asked if she could have the older three girls for the afternoon and of course I said yes, and so I waved them off about an hour ago. Nora and Jager are asleep and should be for the next few hours. My original plan was to clean like a fiend so that the house will be ready for company this weekend but the longer I sit and do nothing, the more I want to sit and do nothing. But that would be a ridiculous waste of time so instead I am going to write a post, read a bit and maybe rest my head for ten minutes. Then I'll clean a bit and tend to the babies that should be up by that time. I have been meaning to post about Part 3 of Home Education for quite a while and I just kept putting it off for various reasons. Jamie and I are reading through the book together and today I read her post on Part 4. Yikes! I'd better get my self moving before I fall so far behind that it will seem impossible to catch up with her.
So here I go. Prepare yourself to be very under-impressed. Go here and scroll down a bit to read Jamie's post on Part 3. I guarantee you it's better that what I'm about to type. (Except for the quotes. The quotes are marvelous.)

Home Education Part 3.

"Habit is ten natures." It took me a while to understand this sentence. Nature is a strong force but habit is as strong as ten natures! Why it took me so long to realize that that was the meaning of that sentence, I'll never know. You can instill a good habit to counteract bad nature, but habit runs on the line of nature.
"Habit runs on the line of nature. The cowardly child habitually lies that he may escape the blame, the loving child has a hundred endearing habits, the good-natured child has a habit of giving, the selfish child, a habit of keeping. Habit, working thus according to nature, is simply nature in action, growing by strong exercise."

"... it rests with parents and teachers to lay down lines of habit on which the life of the child may run henceforth with little jolting or miscarriage, and may advance in the right direction with the minimum of effort."

"The girl who has been carefully trained to speak the exact truth simply does not think of a lie as a ready mean of getting out of a scrape, coward as she may be.

...it is unmanageably true that the child who is not being constantly raised to a higher and higher platform will sink to a lower and lower. Wherefore, it is much the parent's duty to educate his child into moral strength and purpose and intellectual activity as it is to feed him and clothe him; and that in spite of his nature, if it must be so."

"Every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend."

I could wax eloquent (except really, I couldn't because I just haven't practiced good writing in many years) about all the thoughts I had from this chapter but instead I'll sum them up in a few sentences.

This chapter really hit home for me. I know habit formation is important. I even have it scheduled in my morning time for a daily reminder of which habit we are working on instilling in our little minds. But I had forgotten just how important, how necessary it truly is. More than anything, I was convicted about my own habits. Too many bad ones, not enough good ones.
I really wish I could figure out how to get all my thoughts in an essay form. I'm a little frustrated at the moment.

My father, upon request, wrote some thoughts out for his children and one of them fits quite nicely with this chapter.

we call them Pappy's Practical Parenting Points

SOLIDIFY PATTERNS EARLY
        My experience is that the patterns of children's lives are formed, to a large extent, very early in life. While this is not a hard and fast rule, no doubt the strength of early impressions upon children's personalities and characters go a long way toward influencing their future behavior. That means that there is a lot of hard work to be done early on in raising children. By that I am not referring to the physically exhausting aspects, such as sleepless nights, but to the persistence that is needed to reinforce good behavior and punish bad behavior time after time after time. That's the bad news. The good news is that the hard work done early will pay tremendous dividends on down the line.
        Children rarely will remember much of anything before the age of four, but it is amazing how much the training done before that age will affect them. Since most of their behavior necessarily cannot be calculated because of their mental limitations, your training will not be with situations where they can think through what they ought to have done. It will be done at another level. That is why repetition will play such an important part. Over and over and over again you must insist upon the proper behavior, until it becomes something that they do not have to think about. Train them to react correctly, and when they are older, they will be more likely to reason correctly.
        So often we tend to think of this early training being in the realm of discipline, but there is more involved than that. From the very earliest days, a child is brought into a realm of either love, compassion and good order, or into a chaotic world where proper behavior is ignored or even discouraged. Touching means so much to a child, and so the more snuggling and sitting in laps children can do, the more secure they will feel, and security is of utmost importance. Since children cannot reason through the logic of morals, how they see their world at the age of two is likely to be accepted to them as how they world ought to be. Therefore you want their world to be the right world.

Pappy

 

It skips around. A lot.

Somedays I'm just not the mother that I want to be.

Everyday I'm not the mother that I want to be but somedays seem to be worse than others. I finally started yelling tonight. It was the only way that Claire would stop talking and listen to me. I had to get so loud that she couldn't concentrate on what she wanted to say and therefore had to stop talking and was therefore forced to hear what I was saying.

But I hate yelling. Hate it. What a terrible example of how to handle a situation. I'm feeling a big humdrum tonight. Jason is gone until tomorrow and I did ok until this, the last day. And now I have put my children to bed on a terrible note. It was going so well at first. I read a Bible story and a chapter from Pooh and then I was singing to them which I don't do that often and then the phone rang.  I've been letting the girls think that Jason is just getting home after they fall asleep and that he is gone to work before they get up. I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the truth. It saved quite a bit of drama. If Elaina knows that he is on a trip, EVERY NIGHT we have buckets of tears and drama, drama, drama. Jason talked to each of the girls tonight and he said to Elaina that he would see her tomorrow and oh my goodness. The tears began. And then Claire and Eily started screaming because they didn't want to hear Elaina crying and then Claire needed this and that and it just all fell apart.

And now the kitchen is a mess and there is food out and dirty dishes out BUT I got all the laundry finished today. That makes me feel a little better about myself. But only in the housewife sense, not the mother sense. Am I making sense?

Tomorrow is another day (Said in Scarlett Fashion) and I will do better. And the girls will do better because we are going to sit down and talk about what happened tonight. And we are going to keep working on habit training and finally, the best of all, Jason will be home and we will all be together again.

Oh yeah, and we are going to see the Aristocats play tomorrow night. I'm pretty excited about that. This will be the first play that I have ever taken the girls to see. I did take Elaina to see a ballet last summer but I don't think that's in the same category.  Today she was wearing her pink tutu and her off-white brown and pink striped pantyhose and acting out that "very long ballerina thing we went to last time." I'm curious to see what they do in their playtime after seeing a play.

Claire studied a beetle yesterday and today I found her just sitting on the bench outside the front of the house. When I asked her what she was doing she replied, "I'm just watching the trees." I liked that answer. I'm excited to see her develop in her education. I've been reading all about outdoor time and I feel like Claire is a prime example of how children can observe if you just let them.

This is such a random post. I'm just typing as I think so there is no flow whatsoever to the sentences. Welcome to the way my brain works. It's sad. I know.

At this point, for me, it's all about

habit training.  What a long, long way I have left to go.  I wish I had read Volume 1 about 4 years ago. At least I am not reading it 4 years into the future, right?  cha